Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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