You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize