that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
