Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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