Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
