I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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