I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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