last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
