Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
