i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
