I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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