Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
