I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
