You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think a kid would responsible me up
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
