party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
