the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
