I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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