i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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