I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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