need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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