im about as happy as oj after his trial
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
