Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
