i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
