we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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