he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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