I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
