he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
