My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
