two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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