I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
