no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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