Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
