Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
