We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
