Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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