I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
