at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
