I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize