I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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