I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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