SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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