Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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