yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
