I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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