So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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