There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't notice because vodka
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
