Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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