he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
