Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
