Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
