so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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