i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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