On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
