Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My nipple is on Facebook.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He better not be in your backpack
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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