Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize