If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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