Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
