My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
